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At one point, the camera lingers on a boxcar full of elephant tusks, and later, we see another train carrying African men in chains. The movie's initial feints at gritty relevance seem disingenuous, if not downright foolish, once John starts swinging from vines and conversing with crocodiles. One waits in vain for the revelation that Rom's real surname is Blofeld. This Tarzan doesn't just speak to the animals: he commands them – the word "conquer" is used without apparent irony – eventually mustering an army of incompatible species to fend off an influx of Rom's troops that would effectively make the entirety of the Belgian Congo a slave state. The Legend of Tarzan has other problems, like its inability to decide whether it wants John Clayton to be James Bond or Aquaman – although it's best when he's Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone. It's a story inextricably entwined with Europe's relationship to ‘the dark continent’, and yet actual Africans keep getting pushed to the side. But it's Jane (Margot Robbie), the white daughter of an American missionary, who nurses him back to health, and who later becomes his wife. We meet kinder Africans later, the cheerful villagers who take John in after his battered body is discovered in the jungle. But when tribal soldiers spring from the water beneath his feet, in the variable-speed slow motion that Yates abuses throughout, the effect makes them seem both more and less than human. We're cued to hiss at Rom (Christoph Waltz), the Belgian commander, whose first onscreen act is to rip an African flower from its stem, and who, in an especially rococo touch, uses a spider-silk rosary as an offensive weapon. Unfortunately, the imperative to produce a viable box-office entertainment trumps The Legend of Tarzan's noble intentions at every turn. The opening sequence, in which a fastidious Belgian commander leads his soldiers through the jungle mists, is full of redolent images: the bodies of dead troops hung on makeshift crosses, their own rifles used as crossbars an African tribesman starring indomitably into the lens, a colonist's white linen hat perched incongruously atop his head.
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And indeed, for a time, it seems as if Yates and company have a handle on how to reshape Edgar Rice Burroughs imperialist fantasy for the modern age. The irony of that epithet being bestowed by a black Civil War veteran is not lost on The Legend of Tarzan.
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